Zeb at the Ranch – Cowpies and Coffee Cups
Zeb at the Ranch – Cowpies and Coffee Cups
~ Volume 345 - July 27, ‍2018 ~
Watch the Zeb at the Ranch broadcast LIVE at ZebBell.com!
Every Monday thru Thursday from 8 to 11 a.m.
    Some ramblings....I saw it happen but I still can't believe it! Last weekend Goober and I were about a mile from our place and came up behind a pickup and three motorcyclists who were right behind my neighbor's combine. This is a BIG combine with a thirty five foot header, ...ah....BIG COMBINE. My neighbor was zig zagging down the road to avoid hitting road signs and with only about 100 yards to go....all would be well. However, the witless, moronic cyclists couldn't wait. Suddenly they took off, one after the other, leaned WAY over and went UNDER the header and shot down the highway...WHOA!! Deanne and I just held out breath! Micro-seconds after the last idiot went "under", my neighbor turned into the next field...a split second earlier and the "crotch rocketeers" would have been ground into the pavement! There are a lot of words for stupid...but in this case...stupid is adequate!

    Help me!...I've sat down and I can't get up! That was my "battle cry" a few days after my longtime good buddy...my recliner...popped some bolts, quivered and died in a very awkward position. Picture, please, I had just sat down, cranked the lever to full horizontal position and pow, crack! And thud! There I was, trapped in a chair that had served me well for 10 years but now was trying to hurt me in its last shuddering minutes. So,...go ahead...tell me how easy it is to get out of or off of a recliner that resembles a wounded whale about to take the deep 6 for the last time! ONE can't roll out, ONE can't sit up,...ONE is in a fix...Goober, help me, I sat down and can't get up!!!! So dear reader, I bought a new fancy electrical recliner with all the buttons and comfies...but...what am I going to do if the power goes off??!!...Goober!

    "What did you say?" BLAM...I got shot in the face! Going through the car wash the other day, the attendant yelled something at me while he was spraying my "4-wheel wonder" with his magic wand and I could NOT hear him! So, like any "intelligent buffoon" I lowered my window and said "Huh?" About that time he raised his "Moses stick" and he shot me right in the face....he seemed to relish holding it in that position until me and the entire inside of my truck had enough water to support large fish in an aquarium! Moral of story: Never say "Huh?" to a car wash attendant...BLAM!

Don't forget Dr-History.com! Exciting episodes of the old West!!
Now in 110 countries...110!! And not one of them
have said they're offended!

Our Pledge of Allegiance:
I pledge Allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic for which it stands,
one nation under God, indivisible,
with Liberty and Justice for all.

Dear Lord: Please Bless and heal this land with your grace and power.
Help us to realize YOU are in charge as you were, as you are now and like
you'll be in the future. Forgive us for "straying off the trail" of what's right
and what's wrong and help us to appreciate what you've blessed us with,
the greatest Country in the world...America!
In Jesus Name.....Amen

Please Read Matthew Chapter 10 verse 32.

The way things were - are the way things ought to be!

(Copyright Zeb Bell)

Adios Buckaroos and Buckarettes!

God Bless and Fly the Flag!!

Zeb Bell

P. S. If you enjoy our Newsletter, be sure to forward a copy to your friends and family. Don't forget to tune in to Zeb at the Ranch every Monday thru Thursday from 8 to 11 a.m. on KBAR Radio 1230 AM on the dial, or live on the internet at www.zebbell.com ! Be sure to check out archives of the show on the website or Zeb's YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg_Ef72F7DI33Qu9vyfbkpg. Don't forget to leave a comment or a "Like" while you're there.

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